The 5 Love Languages is a book with a concept that all individuals could read to maximize they’re relationships. It helps with family, romance, business, ministry and any other important relationship you want to blossom. My question to you is who could you love better?
The author identified 5 main ways people give and receive love. We all have one dominate and all have the capacity use them all. It is important to identify is which your main one or two are so you can best understand how to improve relationships.
The week I read this book I had a dozen light bulbs go off in my mind and heart about those I had struggling relationships with. In the years past, it’s helped me communicate my needs & desires in a relationship to best connect.
The 5 languages:
1. Words of affirmation
3. Quality Time
4. Acts of Service
Words of Affirmation ~ These people love compliments, affirmations, spoken words of kindness. They get excited when they get a real letter in the mail, or a facebook comment that encourages them & reminds them of their inner beauty. These people often encourage through words as well. They’re always saying things that make you smile. If you don’t like getting accolades and compliments, you’re probably don’t have words of affirmations as your main love language.
Touch ~ These people love to hug, hold hands, kiss, get their feed massaged, etc. They crave and thrive off of touch. If they don’t have it, they’ll question whether they’re really loved or not. This person may not do well in a long distance relationship, whereas a words of affirmation person could handle it better. People who identify strongly in this category often will be great at high fives, good long hugs, simple touches to say hi, and warm pats on the back in team environments.
Quality Time ~ These people love spending time together. They always want to hang out, go to the mall, movies or long walks on the beach. They don’t care what you do, as long as you’re doing it together. Usually these people will feel like the relationship is fading if they’re not actually spending time together. They’re know to be ‘just chillin’ and also like to chat on the phone just to chat.
Acts of Service ~ These people feel loved and appreciated when you help make their life easier. Things such as fixing the light bulb, taking out the trash, washing & detailing the car, mowing the lawn, or fixing a delicious meal. They don’t always need to hear your undying love for them, they just want you to pitch in a little. You can usually spot people like these at larger events because they’re always serving & pitching it.
Gifts ~ These people get excited about gifts! They feel strong love when they’re given gifts, flowers, jewelery, something handmade, clothing, a good book, a new car, tickets to the big game, etc. These people are often great gift givers and they know just what to give everyone. They’re also the type of person to remember if you forgot their birthday and might even question how strong the relationship still is.
You may have noticed your strong love language, and I’m pretty sure you noticed some of those close to you as well. If you start to categorize people you’ll identify their love languages and be able to love more effectively (that sounds strange I know) but it’s super powerful when you’ve got a relationship that’s broken and needs fixing.
For example, when I first read this book my mom and I weren’t on great terms. Quite honestly, I had no clue why and understanding this book helped me SOOO Much. When I realized she wasn’t a words of affirmation person like me, and that she was an acts of service and gift giver… I no longer resented her for wanting to buy me things. It made perfect sense & I now I wanted to help out around the house more. Instant Win-Win.
These concepts are not intended to put you into a small box and think “I can only love her this way” it’s to help identify what works and what doesn’t in your important relationships. It’s kinda like a SWOT analysis for relationships, the more you understand the strengths & weaknesses, the better you can communicate.
If you were reading closely, you’ll know that I’m a words of affirmation girl, share the love below in the comments (yes I’m one of those people that saves every greeting card too)… and feel free to tell me what you think your love language is too.
Not sure what your mom is? or one of your team members? Just ask them. Explain a bit about each 5, and ask them what they think they are. Ask them what they think you are. Open the conversation. Enjoy.